I Was Once Yellow

I was once yellow

Bright…full of the essence of the sun

I one glowed

I once smiled…

I had a dream then,

Of this life…this family…this career…this relationships

…was full of promise

I was once yellow

Before the shadows crept into my days

Before the silence filled my mind

Before the candle blew out

I was…I was

I was once yellow

Though I’d like to say this is what life has made me

I can’t

Mama taught me not to lie

I chose paths that sucked the life out of me

I made choices that pushed me into the whirlpool

I kissed frogs that slowly killed the yellow I once was

I’m not happy…I stopped being sad

Now I don’t know what I am

Or didn’t…

Didn’t know what I was no more till the vine sapped life into me

The one vine…the true vine

I was once yellow

Until I knew is not the color of my petals but that of my fruit that really matters

Now I know I am so much more than yellow…

Now I smile because the color’s gone…and I’m more than I ever was

I was once yellow

Until in my loss I traded my notions for His

Now I’m black and white

I go by what He defines

I love whom he loves

I walk the paths He ordains and fight the battles He lets me…and cheer in those He fights for me

I was once yellow

And there was a time I wished someone could paint me back that way

That was then

Now I realize I look better in monochrome

I attract those who see beyond color

I attract Him

I was once yellow

And there was a time it killed me to know so…

Now I know I was once yellow…and that makes me smile

Cause though I may look shriveled to you…

I am more than yellow in His eyes

And that makes this heart smile.

7/10/11

all rights reserved to the poet © Ang’asa Malowa

photo courtesy of Mutua Matheka wallpaper collection at mutuamatheka.wordpress.com

Life teaches us many things and as foretold what a man plants that he reaps (Galatians 6:7,8). We may be sorry for our previous lives, choices, mistakes but that doesn’t change the principle, we will still reap of that harvest but that doesn’t make us the same people we were when we planted those seeds…we may think that coz we were all yellow before we tripped, we need to get our petals painted back. Well, He says that if one sheep strays ( Luke 15:1-7), He leaves the flock and searches for the one. Then he brings it back. So supposing this lost sheep was mauled by some wolves…stolen and branded by another shepherd or was so dirty from its day out that it reeked of filth…would He still carry it back to the flock or leave it out because it’s now different from what it was? He carries it back, cleans it and feeds it so that it regains its former strength and then some. He rejoices because its back home. It may still bear the scars and the branding may take a while to wear off…the stench too but He brought it home…He didn’t expect it to be yellow first before He took it back…He doesn’t expect you to be what you were before……..happened to take you back. If like me, you’re not yellow, don’t worry about the color. Ephesians 5:15 ‘Be imitators of God, therefore…” Why therefore? Because that’s the point we realize it’s not about our color, about who we are and what we’ve become its about accepting that we’re not anything like Christ and making deliberate efforts to learn and become like Him. Just feed from the true vine and see yourself through His eyes…to Him you’re better than yellow, you are you and you are home. 🙂

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