Love Again

I feel like…

I gave a part of me I can never get back

Pieces of my heart missing I can’t retrace

The vial of my soul lies clear

Nothing inside…nothing

I feel like I gave a part of me I can never get back

The essence of what I am…

Late night phone calls…unending chat streams

No one ever told me I’m your mystery

Yours to unfold…yours alone

Hands on…hands off

Crushing hugs…crashing hearts

With starts that didn’t stop

With fires I started but couldn’t control

I feel like I gave a part of me I can never get back

Never my body…always my mind

My thoughts…my emotions

And sometimes…sometimes

I didn’t know I had, not until I didn’t have

Maybe then it would have been easier to reclaim my heart

Leave unshattered if I’d had heard of guarding my heart with all diligence as out of it flows the issues of life

Never thought that intimacy was so much more than skin on skin

All I was told was to guard my virginity…they never mentioned my vulnerabilities

I built protective walls

Only they had gaps big enough for the little foxes to creep in

And destroy my vineyard

And now you want me to love you

How can I…if I’m not even sure I love myself?

Lord, Restore me to love…restore me to me

Then…maybe then

I can love you like you love me.

17/08/11

all rights reserved to the poet © Ang’asa Malowa

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