To Live Again

its not easy to kill your soul…

at least that’s what i once thought

till i walked out of my bubble and saw

the world as it is…life as it is…my life as it is

its easy to understand that to take a life is wrong-down right death sentence material

until you realize…until you look back and see just how many lay lifeless

behind your trail

see…i was running…really,really fast

running away from the monster…the killer

because all i saw behind me were corpses

i finally found a place to hide,to catch my breath

that was when he let me see who caused the death i ran from

that when i realized the killer was me

but how???

it can’t be…couldn’t be

what proof do you have…if i caused all that…show me

and He did

showed me when…

i spoke death to my family by concurring with the facts that seemed, instead of standing on His facts that forever will be

i killed an innocent when i did nothing to stop her when she decided her life had no baby space

i murdered my brother when i kept hurling his past mistakes at him when all he was doing was trying to move on

stabbed my mother when i lost the respect i had for her…she’s human,she WILL err…that didn’t hit me then

choked my friend by the distance i put between us…not knowing that she didn’t reach out because she didn’t know how…all she needed was me to stand with

smothered my man when i stood by the statistics of broken homes…broken relationships…cheating S.O’s…and boldly declared that they must be true

killed my children when i flowed with the “watoto wa siku hizi” rhythm…preferred to stand upon the tabloid instead of His word

killed my marriage when i decided to date somebody elses man…jst because i was too impatient to wait for my own…to wait for His time

the hurt…the pain…the death

it was all me

there was nothing i could do about what had been….but everything in me wanted to

so i ran back…tried to wake them up…to say i was sorry

tried to bring back the death

i couldn’t

i couldn’t save the dead…but i can stop myself from killing the living

the power of life and death IS in the tongue

the minute tutaacha kuzoeana na hio verse

is the minute a new age will dawn

an age where the living live…death is no more

lets speak life

its a choice…choices have consequences…choices need follow up…choices demand energy to remain standing

so everyday i pray that i may speak life…to those that are,to those that will be

sometimes i forget and slay again…but because He knows i’m trying to keep the life He gives

He helps me make amends…He saves the life

I am so thankful that God not only forgives us but He wants to heal all those deep hurts that keep us bound

“One who is forgiven much loves much!

lets make a choice to live and let others live

after all…that was the sole purpose of the cross

for he came that we may have life…more abundantly.

24/05/11

all rights reserved to the poet ©Ang’asa Malowa

© Microsoft Corporation

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