Now More Than Ever

Tried the keys you gave me yesterday

And they worked …

Now I face another and the key that worked then

Doesn’t work on this one

How many doors till I get to where I’ll see the flowing milk and honey

 How many keys do I need to get to where you’ll show me?

 I’ve been patient…I’m just not sure it’ll last so long

When every time I think I got a break, something else shows up

They say bad things come in threes

 Now I wish it was so because seasons have changed

 But they just keep coming I know I’m learning but does it have to be this hard?

When I think I have what you want me to…you take it away

What am I supposed to tell her? She needs stability…security…she needs to know I can stand for us

How do I tell them this is just a phase…

 When they need their daddy to provide a life for them?

I do not question because I do not trust

 I question because I need to hear You say you’re still here

 That this is all You That though I walk through these valleys shadowed with death I should fear not…

 For You are with me…You guide me…You comfort me

See, I can’t turn to anyone else

 They won’t understand…not how You can

So I give you all these questions

 Why do you let me go through all this pain…when will it be enough

When will I too sit at Your table and dine with You…

 Instead being the one standing out looking in…

 So many whens…so many whys…so many…

This clay does not question the potter…

 It just needs to know that the potter is the one controlling the molding

Just needs to hear someone say its gonna be ok

 You’re the only one I know that knows the end from the beginning

 I need You to tell me I’ll be ok…we’ll be ok I need to hear it…

I need You to hold me Now more than ever.

 21/12/2011

 all rights reserved  ©Ang’asa Malowa

 I believe that it’s ok to question God…to ask Him why…not accusingly, not angrily but just asking because you wanna know something and He’s the only one whose answer will suffice. Fill your heart with love and ask Him in humility…seek him…and He will speak. I’ve been through seasons where only his assurance sufficed and I had a lot of questions…a lot of doubts. I asked Him and He was sure to answer. If you haven’t been there yet, maybe someday you will. When you do, don’t be afraid to ask…don’t be afraid to question. It’s the only way He’ll reach out and hold you…then more than ever.

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