Sometimes…

Sometimes …

Sometimes I wish you’d talk to me, with me…

Anything but at me

Sometimes I wish you’d ask how I am…

I know you know Ms. Sunshine but sometimes…

I wish you’d notice I’m not my usual shade of yellow

Sometimes I wish I’d stop wishing that sometimes

You would see me not as the egg that needs nesting but

The butterfly that needs room to fly

…that tiny raindrop that needs to choose where to fall

Sometimes I wish you’d love me enough to see that I love you enough…

Love you enough to shelf what I’d meant for me

I know you never asked me to but I did

Because that’s just who I am…

Always the one to keep the yellows up, the blues at bay

Sometimes …

Sometimes I wish you’d talk to me, with me…

Anything but at me

Because I have a heart that’s not as headstrong as yours…

I have a heart that doesn’t need to be

So sometimes, just sometimes

Look beyond what you think you see;

Listen to what I fail to speak.

© Ang’asa Malowa

26/3/13

I’m not always one to let people in beyond pleasantries and sometimes it’s worse with the people I love and/or respect the most.  Many times I hold back what I need to speak because I’m just kinda wired to care less about what I feel and more about someone else sometimes. It’s who I am… and I’m guessing I’m not alone. The downside is, sometimes, I feel like others should take a hint or treat me just how I do them…and that’s not always going to happen. This is not to say that I’m not working on that, it’s just to say that sometimes we think more about ourselves that the other person, whoever that may be for you, that we fail to see that it’s not okay when they say I is, it’s not really a yes, not really an ‘I’ll be there and if you’re wired like m. Not everyone is wired to be as headstrong in their mind as they are in real time and that’s not a bad thing; not at all. Not everyone is wired to always think of others first either and that’s not a bad thing either. The bad thing is, we often fail to extend the same measure as we’d expect someone else to understand or ‘get’ us. Maybe today, your anchor needs to know you can man the sails so he/she can have a day off, maybe we need to ask and give chance to someone else before we plan part or all of their schedules…maybe we need to understand that we’re not the only ones that need to be understood. ‘Love is patient, love is kind, love suffers long…’; love is not expecting all these but being all these. It’s not as difficult as it would seem, not if we take it one day at a time, not if we take the chance to

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