Fix Me

I ain’t seen no clouds in my days…

No fires in my nights

Nothing…

I ain’t seen nothing

Not even my dreams paint me pictures anymore

My sight’s broken

This heart’s cold

It’s not as though I was in a fog, it’s not as though it’s getting  hazy

It’s dark and…

I cannot tell if it’s cold no more because…

Because I’m  not sure if the cold I feel is out here…or in here because my heart’s gone still

Set me on fire

Break this ice

For me, there’s no flame to fan, none now

I ain’t seen no clouds in my days…

No fires in my nights

Nothing…

I ain’t seen nothing

Not even my dreams paint me pictures anymore

My sight’s broken

Fix me.

5/7/13

©Ang’asa Malowa

40 years is a long time. That’s how long the Israelites got before they walked into the Promised Land; they wandered through the wilderness for a long time. So long that many times they forgot who they had on their side. So long that the entire ‘grumbling, blind’ generation was gone before they received their promise. Sometimes, that’s me. Wandering around.Forgetting what…how far the Lord has brought me in the face of a new challenge, hard situation, unfulfilled promise… Wandering so long that sometimes I forget there were days when there were pillars of fire to guide me in the dark and clouds to guide me by day. I need constant fixing; this heart is not as true as it ought to. Thank God for new mercies every morning, thank God for the grace that can fix me…fix you.

 

 

 

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