Curtains falling…

Its time to take a bow – at least for today

At least for now

And my heart beats faster because now I don’t know what to do

What next Lord…what next?

I’m a sucker for new beginnings but this time

This time I’m afraid to hope

Afraid that my hope will crash me

Afraid that this time, this crash will kill me

Curtains are falling Lord, the audience is applauding

Its time to take a bow but its not time yet

I don’t wanna leave this stage

I don’t know where to go next

My heart’s racing yet still my feet won’t move

I’m inhaling but I still can’t breathe

Its time Lord

Its time

All I wanna know is…

Time for what?

Curtains are falling…lights are dimming

Just five minutes Lord, just five more

Please…don’t let it be the last call

I don’t…

I don’t know where to go.

© Ang’asa Malowa

The New Year’s almost here and for the past couple of days, I’ve been ‘planning’ the what next – only I’m still staring at blank pages. *breathes out  This year has been tough and amazing almost in equal measure. I’m grateful for alot, yet even then, bleeding from so much. I know I need to get things into perspective and I think that’s where I’m wrong.  I trust in me too much. I don’t know why but it always seems like I lock Him out when I need Him the most. I have no idea what the New Year will bring, and looking at the scars from this one I’m tempted not to hope but I’m reminded of my now favorite word – imani (faith). I see nothing yet and though I feel heavy, I will stir my heart to believe in the unseen again.

By the blood of his Son, God has promised infallibly:

1. I will meet all your needs according to my riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

2. My power will be made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

3. I will strengthen you and help you and hold you up with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).

4. I will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

5. I will not let any testing befall you for which I do not give you grace to bear (1 Corinthians 10:13).

6. I will take the sting away from your death with the blood of my son (1 Corinthians 15:55f).

7. I will raise you from the dead imperishable (1 Corinthians 15:52).

8. I will transform your lowly body to be like my glorious body, by the power that enables me even to subject all things to myself (Philippians 3:21).

I will do this without fail because I am absolutely sovereign over everything and therefore, I can do all things, and no purpose of mine can be thwarted (Job 42:2).

So even though I’m weary, I will trust that even as the curtains fall, even as the chapter turns, it is well with me because my father says so and His word hasn’t failed me yet. Thats what i’ll believe.



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