Still Me

One lessons rolls into another…

Its like i’m on a train with no stops

No stops because it doesn’t count if you’re only off long enough to catch the next

because missing the next…

now that’s another post altogether

Half the time i’m secure in Your love

the other half i’m the half crazed, starved, wide-eyed girl begging for scraps at the corner of East and West

I trust You can see far enough for the both of us – half the time

The other half…I’m stalking your every thought hoping i’ll see something beyond the colour on the stained glass windows

the windows keeping me from seeing right through the feel into the what is

and now…just now i’m tired, just tired

*sigh

I’m tired of being the girl on tiptoes craving to see just but a glimpse of what’s going on inside

instead of being

when inside is the life i’m supposedly living…or am i?

I trust You

Its just not as easy as i’d thought, this free-fall living

…many times but not always

See, You said when i am weak, then You are strong

If there ever was a time when i needed that – it is now

Only i can’t bring myself to lean on You…

You said when i am weak, then You are strong

See through my confused rage and fight me to hold me

All i need just now is to be still, to be silent

But somehow i can’t…

You are strong

You are strong

Hold me still for a minute

Cause me to lean on You

Cause me to be still and know that You are

Cause this right here ain’t living – it doesn’t count to get through days and have little else

I can’t live this way…

Still me Lord…

Still me

© Ang’asa Malowa

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