Looking Right at Me

I have looked many times

Many times I have seen not what you beheld

Many times I see as far as my eyes can see

I’ve seen the deadness on my path

I have seen my hope flicker and sometimes blow off when the gales come too strong

I have looked many times, Lord

I have looked but

Many times I have not seen what you behokd

My heart has grown cold

My spirit, once sang…now whispers

For whispers cannot be heard

And what is not heard cannot be scorned when the dawn of which I spoke fails to break

I have looked many times

Many times I have seen not what you beheld

Yet still you say ‘Look again’

Why Lord…why?

Why would you have me look when I have not been one to see

‘Look Child’

My heart cannot bear another break Lord, yesterdays scorn still rings in my ear

‘Lift up your eyes…look’

Why should I Lord? Why?

‘Look’

For a minute I did

For that minute I saw not horizons drawn near

Not vineyards green and presses flowing

I saw not what my heart had painted as hope, as truth, as blessed

I saw in his eyes all that I was letting go

I saw it all

I had looked many times

Many times I had not seen what He beheld

Because all this time I wasn’t looking at Him

How could I have seen when all this time

I was looking right at me.

 

© Ang’asa Malowa

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