I fix my eyes on You

I hear my voice ring out

I feel my heart reach out

But I am not so sure I remember how to do that –

How this ‘fixing’ works

I am saturated with thoughts and discoveries that have become my daily truths

Truths I know You do not share because if You did, I would have heard them first from You

But truths that saturate my days all the same

To fix my eyes on You is to rebuild walls I fear to erect

For walls protect but walls keep out… close in

I do not trust myself to know how to have it both ways

It is overwhelming the amount of thinking that I do

Even though I have no sway on a future I am yet to live out I cannot seem to fully let go of what are arguably the cares of this world

But I am in this world, am I not?

Should I not live? Not breathe because to live or breathe would be to care for things that mean nothing to You?

No…Your hand does not enslave

I shall live. I shall breathe.

And I shall need Your help in this fixing of eyes

Prone to wander…but with Your help

I fix my eyes on You

I hear my voice ring out

I feel my heart reach out

I do not know for how long but right here…right now

I fix my eyes on You

And tomorrow and the next, I shall make the choice to do so again

For although I am not sure I remember how this ‘fixing’ works

You do…and You have my heart as I have Yours

So try I will

Even if I will start again and again

Try I will.

 

 

 

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