Before the Rules

Long before You carved Your word in stone

…before You drew the lines

Set apart the grey from the black and white…

Long before the heart of amn required blinds so it would stick to its course

…reins so it would not wander away

Long before the rules:

Only You had our hearts

Only You had our minds

Only You had our souls

But time brought the thief that took away that joy…

Brought the one who raised the knife that ripped our spirits from Yours

Time brought the fire that burned the bridges that held our hearts as one

Before thr rules…

We knew no one else…we never stepped out

I knew not that time but me thinks it was a beautiful time to be

For now even with your word etched in my heart, i still find ways  to wander

I still manage to grieve the one my heart beats for

Many times i wish i was in that time…

That time when You’d walk with me through the gardens…

That time when my heart, my mind, my soull would know no oter

That time…before the rules

but wishes are what dreams are made of

and from dreams…i will always have to wake

I desire to know You like they did

To love, honor and obey without doubt or question just as it was before the rules

You’re the only one that remains from that time

The only one that can teach me to build our relationship so

as strong, as close, as true as it was before the rules

For even with Your voice echoing in the wind…your writing on the walls of my heart

I’m afraid i still step out

Lord teach me to live, love,honor…build my relationship with You

Make us as strong as we would have been

Before the rules.

27/5/12

© Ang’asa Malowa

In many ways, I envy what Adam and Eve had before the whole apple scandal. Unlimited, 101, uninterrupted fellowship with the one true God…whoa! How awesome must that have been? Right now there’s so many hurdles to jump over just to get 4 minutes with Him and to think once before, all one had was time and God…God and time. I yearn for what they had before the rules came up. That’s my prayer this week: that He may draw me as close, speak to me as clear, and teach me as often as He would have…before the rules. Amen.

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Way More

Ever thought why it took the Israelites

40 whole years of suffering, homelessness, death and disease

Just to get to the promised land?

Ever wondered why Job…blameless Job was inflicted from every aspect

Had his life crumble down before his very eyes?

Or why Sarah had to wait so long to her owns baby’s cry…

I have

I’ve been through times when I had more questions than I did answers

Times when I wondered how long it’ll take till the light at the end of the tunnel

Comes to full bloom and lights the dark away

I’ve had days when no matter how hard I tried; I couldn’t let His joy be my strength

When I doubted if He really is my shepherd

Because if He was, why were there so many wolves tearing at me?

Had one of those endless nights…that’s when I couldn’t hold it no more

I broke down before He whose hands seemed to be taking me through the very anguish and pain I thought they would pull me from

For though He inflicts me…yet I will still love Him

He told me this…and if like me you’re there, this is what He needs you to know

Its way more than a barren womb…

Way more than a fiery furnace

Way more than a broken heart

Its faith he sees…its trust he wants

And it takes pain to see them grow

He needs us to know that He is our shepherd

That He loves us

That He will set a table before us…only if we trust him in all things

Even when the winds are blowing off our little lights

Beloved, it’s not about the pain

He loves us…He never wants to hurt us

It’s about our destiny

Its about your life, your faith, your trust

And they need pain to grow

He didn’t wish it all away

He didn’t calm the raging storm

But I felt something break inside

I felt release

From fear…from doubt…from insecurities

I felt His love in the furnace and I felt my strength renewed

For I finally understood

Its way more than I can see

And I trust Him to get me through it all.

23.11.11

all rights reserved  ©Ang’asa Malowa