You do not give the heavy to the weak shoulders
I do not know what makes you think mine are strong more than half the time
I keep forgetting it’s not really about me
This strength I need comes from within for greater is He that is…
There are many things I now realize I have long forgotten
I need to remember
I need to remember…
That you are my peace – I do not create my own for what I need you have provided
That you are my strength – I should not lean on these walls…these walls that cave in
That you are the giver; laying tables before me
You are…
I need to remember that You are all I need
And that is enough
Stir my heart
Light a fire…blow away this cold
I need to feel you again
I need to hear you
I need to remember that You are
You are all I need

KK Sunsets

Blown by the Wind

Where You go, I’ll go
Can’t really say that no more
See, the waves have swept away your footprints
Don’t know where You went…
Can’t even follow your scent
Must have been blown by the wind
Where You stay, I’ll stay
Wish I was that brave…
Brave enough to barge through them gates
You want me to stay… Your eyes so speak but…
They won’t let me in
Not looking like this they won’t
White as snow…
Fairytales are made of these
I know I can’t stay here
The tide’s running high
Can’t follow you there either
I could… I really would
But I can’t see far enough to take a step…
Where You go, I’ll go
Can’t really say that no more
See, the waves have swept away your footprints
Don’t know where You went…
Can’t even follow your scent
Must have been blown by the wind
I lost you…
I lost you…
Somewhere in between…
I lost you
I need You to find me

© Ang’asa Malowa

image

Just See Me

Can you hear the melodies of this life within the storms?

Can you feel the love warming up your heart inspite of rain?

Can you see the stars behind the clouds…

the joy beneath the pain?

If you can’t see these…just see me

© Ang’asa Malowa

25/1/13

in the shadow of His wings we find relief…He that knitted our days before we were; He that watches over the sparrows…watches over us. sometimes its too blue to see the yellow, too gray to make out what is from what should be. Sometimes all i want to do is hide and scream because i’m too frustrated to speak. When i can’t see, when i’m too angry to think, when i can’t feel  “the joy beneath the pain…”; i look at Him…just see Him. It may take forever but when i do…my heart stills #peace. and in that moment, even if i still can’t hear the ‘melodies of this life through the storm’; i see Him. That makes a world of difference, thats the floater that keeps me from sinking away…

If you can’t see these…just see me

>>> Jesus

You Found Me

Footprints from yesterday washed off…swept away You looked underneath my hurt… Underneath the rubbles of hurricanes past Underneath my fears; only You saw my destiny …pulled me back into the light You found me Footprints from yesterday washed…swept away Now i can chose to walk where i didn’t before Now i have new memories to […]

…till

You’ve fallen…

and you will rise and walk…but you will fall again

’till you fall hard enough to crack the shell that’s holding you inside

to break the shackles that hold you back

You willl keep falling till the bruises get so bad you start to bleed…

’till the pain numbs every part of your being

…’till its not enough to hold a pity party

’till its not enough to wipe the slate clean with clauses you hope will keep your sanity…

…till its not enough to sleep it off…

to clean up…dress up and push the nights before in the shadows…

…stack one more skeleton in the bursting closets

You’ve fallen…

and you will rise and walk…but you will fall again

…’till you fall hard enough to break the cycles

fall hard enough to re-route your path

…’till

© Ang’asa Malowa

27/11/12

… i believe that whatever point the falling gets you to differs from one person to another and yes, you may get where you can’t get yourself up. For me, the falling only serves to push you to a place you see the need to make the choice to ‘break the cycles…re-route your path’ its the getting to the place where you make this choice that matters here, till you decide to break cycles and reroute paths whether you’re at the point where you can’t get up or at the point where you ignore everything else and move on doesn’t really count because the only way to keep from falling is to stop focusing on the fall and the ‘where i’m at’ after the fall…and focusing on deliberately chosing to break the cycle and reroute the path. once you make that choice even when you are weak, He will be strong. Your season will usher in mentors and connections to steer you on the ‘new path’ > all this after deliberately chosing to break the cycle and reroute the path…not thinking of the fall and where you’re at after it… He doesn’t need you to get yourself up, He just needs you to make the choice to reroute-each day- so you don’t get there again…that’s the beauty of Christ’s love and this, is what i’m learning now 🙂 #mytake

Kenya…My Kenya

I live in a country so lush…

It has something left to keep it running even after the puppet masters have their take after the show

A country so diverse…

It fights its own to see itself live

Country so tightly bound

That all it takes is a few more than what the next guy pays to ease a clenched fist

So greatly loved…

So highly favored…

A country predestined, chosen

Set so far apart…darkness seeks day and night to close the divide

I live in a country where there are so many crooked paths

…good thing i know One that makes crooked paths straight

One that aligns the chosen to their purpose

…that preserves that which He pre destined…that which He chose

Kenya…my Kenya

A land praying to the Lord of all creation

A nation …a land blessed

A land with justice as a shield..defender

A nation dwelling in UNITY,PEACE,LIBERTY

…a land not afraid to share because plenty is found within its borders

Lord, hear the cry of the nation…

Oh Lord of all creation…hear the cry of our nation

I live in a country so lush…

A country so diverse…

Country so tightly bound

So greatly loved…

So highly favored…

A country predestined, chosen

Set so far apart…darkness seeks day and night to close the divide

sometimes…sometimes i fear the divide is no more left un-bridged

Oh Lord of all creation today i pray..just as you have set my heart on my Kenya

…set Yours too

Bless this our land and nation

Bless this our land and nation

Lord, Bless this our land and nation

and Lord, help us all to arise with hearts strong and true

Hearts set to keep that which we were graciously given…

Kenya…

My Kenya

8/10/12

© Ang’asa Malowa

My Kenya

Walking Back

Walked so hard to get here,

Where You are…where You’ll be in me

Walked and fell…fell and rose

And I’m still walking but now…

I’m walking back

I saw me in the mirror today…saw me staring back but…

That wasn’t really me

I was clothed in something

Something… divine I can’t really describe but deep down I know its traces of You I saw

And that’s why I gotta walk back…walk back to the world

I know I am not of the world, not anymore

Because a saving grace took hold of me…a saving grace so bright I want to walk back

Walk back and give it to the world

You walked through the murk to get to me

Now please help me walk back to get them

Keep me lit up so they can see You …so they can see all of You and none of me

I am not of the world, not anymore

But You sent me to it so Lord by Your light, guide me

Guide my heart to the harvest

Guide my heart to Your own

And while I’m at it Lord

Keep my heart…with every step, keep my heart

Because I’m walking back

It’s a dark, dreary place and a part of me is afraid the darkness will take me in

But I’m walking back not for me…

But because someone else walked back for me…because somehow, somewhere

There’s a soul waiting, waiting for me to walk back

While I’m at it Lord

Keep my heart…with every step, keep my heart

It’s a dark, dreary place and a part of me is afraid the darkness will take me in

But I’m walking back

©Ang’asa Malowa

Crucified to Sin, Raised to Go Back In

Maybe the call to holiness has kept you from eating with the tax collectors and sinners of your town, and in certain circumstances, that may be all well and good. But if we’re taking our cues from the Holy One of Israel made human, eating with tax collectors and sinners could be the very thing we’re called to do more of.

Christian holiness is not the avoidance of darkness at all costs. It includes going into the darkness, letting our Light shine without compromise, and bringing people back from the darkness by the power of God.

Jesus’s true followers are not only crucified to the world, but also raised to new life and sent back in to free others. Let’s die to every sinful desire in us for bad company, and yield to the holy impulse to befriend some of the world’s worst for Jesus’s sake.

Extract From True Holiness Befriends Sinners by David Mathis

…Say it Again

“I have loved you…with an everlasting love.

With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself…

I know the plans I have for you,

Plans for good and not for disaster,

Plans to give you a future…

and a hope….”

I will say this to my heart…

I will say it over and over till it sticks,

and even when that is not enough… I will say it again

I will say this to my heart…

I will say it over and over till it sticks,

and even when that is not enough… I will say it again.

© Ang’asa Malowa

Speak

Could have burst at my seams

Could have drowned…wouldn’t have been someone to call out to

because I’d locked me up inside…

Inside a whirling mind, with clashing thoughts

Inside where hope feared to thrive because the my fears cast shadows too high

I could have drowned in my own self…

could have died trying to figure this out by myself

“Speak…Speak”

You said

But to whom…with whom…

So used to fighting my own battles that letting another soldier in to help me slay the dragons seemed…

Impossible.

“Speak…Speak”

You still said…said louder than i could unhear

Said again and again till my wall crashed down and i did…

Speak…Speak

Let out all my fears…

Let out all my doubts…

Cried out all my anguish, all the confusion, frustrations…

You said “Speak…Speak…”

…I’m glad i didn’t unlisten

My heart is yet to soar but it can now fly

because You delicately, strongly let me know what to do

You nudged me off the edge…and into Your arms

Speak…Speak

I may forget sometimes…please softly,loudly remind me

Nudge me back into Your arms

Draw me away from myself…

“Speak…Speak”

That’s what You will say…

I pray thee…gently,strongly… cause me to hear

Let me hear

© Ang’asa Malowa