Kenya…My Kenya

I live in a country so lush…

It has something left to keep it running even after the puppet masters have their take after the show

A country so diverse…

It fights its own to see itself live

Country so tightly bound

That all it takes is a few more than what the next guy pays to ease a clenched fist

So greatly loved…

So highly favored…

A country predestined, chosen

Set so far apart…darkness seeks day and night to close the divide

I live in a country where there are so many crooked paths

…good thing i know One that makes crooked paths straight

One that aligns the chosen to their purpose

…that preserves that which He pre destined…that which He chose

Kenya…my Kenya

A land praying to the Lord of all creation

A nation …a land blessed

A land with justice as a shield..defender

A nation dwelling in UNITY,PEACE,LIBERTY

…a land not afraid to share because plenty is found within its borders

Lord, hear the cry of the nation…

Oh Lord of all creation…hear the cry of our nation

I live in a country so lush…

A country so diverse…

Country so tightly bound

So greatly loved…

So highly favored…

A country predestined, chosen

Set so far apart…darkness seeks day and night to close the divide

sometimes…sometimes i fear the divide is no more left un-bridged

Oh Lord of all creation today i pray..just as you have set my heart on my Kenya

…set Yours too

Bless this our land and nation

Bless this our land and nation

Lord, Bless this our land and nation

and Lord, help us all to arise with hearts strong and true

Hearts set to keep that which we were graciously given…

Kenya…

My Kenya

8/10/12

© Ang’asa Malowa

My Kenya

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Unspoken

Mine is a journey of one constant and many variables

And because of the latter, the equations seldom balance yet constantly I have seen them fall and crumble….

Watched them cancel out in the might of the former…

My one constant-He

Mine is a race with one constant price, one constant route and many hurdles

and…I know that many watch

Lord, irrespective of who stands by the lines of this race

This is my prayer:

May those that remember my days be compelled to glorify You

You that raises me, You that qualifies me beyond what any man could do…You that gives me hope

May those that hear me be stirred to focus on the dream giver more than the dreams I give; for every word I’ll have used to paint that picture will not have been my own

For what it’s worth Lord, I know they’ll recount my loses more than my gains

May those that remember my sin count the blessings therein more

Let them speak of what You did to make this broken heart whole

…to heal this mind plagued with the torments of a life past, the future unknown

…to still this heart till it learnt to trust again

Let them speak Lord if they’ll speak more of You

Let my name go unspoken

Let Yours alone be remembered…be revered

Lord, let my name go unspoken

Let them exalt and give honor to whom it is due

To Your name, may this life…my life

Bring honor…bring blessing…bring joy…bring glory

Lord, when they speak of me…

Let my name go unspoken

27/5/12

©Ang’asa Malowa 

#My Heart

This is the letter i never wrote you…

Baby…

My son…dear daughter

The letter i never sent you

There’s something i need you to know-you’re my heart.

I need you to understand that the minute i held you,the second i birthed you

My heart shifted,right to yours

I bear it no more,it beats for you

That’s why i’m overjoyed when i see you smile

Over concerned when you bump your kneeand always telling you

Always telling the whole world that i love you

You have …you are my heart

Now do you understand what i must feel when…

I see my heart in a drunken stupor,getting behind the wheel after every night out…

I see when i see my heart loving a man that loves her back only as much as it takes him to bed her

Or when i hear you proclaim that there is no God

Now do you understand what i must feel…when my heart pulls away from me

Gets so far that i can’t see it…can’t hear it

Gets so far it won’t hear what its mother has to say…

Baby…

My son…dear daughter

This is the letter i never wrote you…

The letter i sent you

There’s something i need you to know-you’re my heart.

I need you to understand that the minute i held you,the second i birthed you

My heart shifted,right to yours

I bear it no more,it beats for you

I’m sorry that i may never use the means you may deem ok or the words you’d care to hear

But i want you to never doubt, never forget

That i love you…now and always

I want the best for you

So please listen to me;

I need you to start thinking not just about now…about you….but about what you are

You are a generation

You are a force

You are more than a single thread…you’re part of a tapestry

and you need to realise that you need to live life while you’re alive

And for that to happen, i need you to take a step back, take a good look

and start afresh

Start living the life you were meant to have

Start being the person i know you can be.

20/5/12

© Ang’asa Malowa

ephesians 6:1 honor your father and mother…that’s what spurred this. My friend had a baby and its amazing how fast he’s growing. We’ve done some pretty crazy things in our lifetime but you should hear how she hopes he turns out :). Got us thinking of what mother’s go through watching their very own in the worst of situations. They may never tell it out but they bleed inside…they bleed for us. How about we honor our mothers and fathers and listen to them when they’re trying to pull us back in. All they wanna do is keep us in the fold…keep us from crashing into ourselves. This is a letter to every son and every daughter. You might not be a drunk but you may be stuck in a different rut. They see beyond what we can, trust them, listen to them, honor them.

…to where i’ll find You

I’d heard a lot about you

I’d heard that you loved those no one thought they could…

Clothed them and made them into someone free…someone clean…someone loved…someone that loved

I’d heard a lot about you

You who slay anyone that raised themselves against your own…

You who paved way where no one…nothing else had worked

You who protected, preserved, honored they that honored You

I’d heard a lot about you

I’d heard that you would bind my broken heart, heal my wounded soul

Give me new mercies every day…EVERY day

Bless me with love, joy, peace…with your presence

I’d heard a lot about you…so I came

Came to the place I had heard you dwell

Came to be with those you called your own…those you would use to guide me, keep me, cover me, embrace me

I came…but I couldn’t see

See those you said will have their arms wide open to welcome me home

I thought it was said you are love and so mirrors those that are in you?

I didn’t find those…all I got was a bunch ready to read me my rights and sentence me to a hell they deemed fit

All I met were those that led me to the back pews where I’d be hidden from sight

“I wouldn’t want to taint the name of their congregation now would I?” the sweet usher said

I had heard your word was indescribably sweet…but what flowed from this place

Was the ‘watered down, tailor made for the congregation’ type

I knew because I didn’t feel you urging my spirit like you had the night before

I knew because I felt a darkness poured over the house of light

I knew because I felt no love…and you’d told me that’s what you were

The last hymn sung, last prayer said I walked off quickly because I couldn’t see how I’d be led to fellowship when I knew no one would come close enough to hear me speak

I know I was filthy…but didn’t you wash me white as snow?

Why can’t they see…why can’t they feel…why, when I’d heard you were with them?

Walking back home, I spoke my heart

Lord, lead me to your house and let me enter with thanksgiving in my heart

Lord, teach them the love you have taught me

And Lord forgive me if I’m rush but…please lead me elsewhere

Beside still waters…lead me to Your house…lead me to where i’ll find You

Lead me home.

Now I trust and wait for Him to answer

And I know He will.

3/5/12

©Ang’asa Malowa

This is the story of a friend that felt her spirit urged to seek Him…seek Christ. The story of a friend who went to the one place she’d heard she’d find Him -church- only to find e wasn’t there. She went hoping to find the love He’d spoken of, the joy, the fellowship… but she found she was more alone there than she was at home.

If we, the body, don’t reach out to His people and that’s any man or woman despite their current or past state, are we really His? Thank God she didn’t give up on church altogether…though many have. Every Christian should learn that to be His is to be LOVE. His house should be filled with LOVE and His people should show LOVE first to Him by loving Him and honoring Him by preaching the true, undiluted word and then to others to faithfully love all He brings our way just as Christ Himself loved us.

If we are the body, why aren’t His arms reaching…why isn’t His heart loving??? Think about it, you can make a small difference in a large way. You’re a Christian? Be the love He made you to be.

# I LOVE YOU

Stand affirmed now and forever

That one thing stands true

I love you

You do nothing to make it so

Same way you can do nothing to make it not for you can never revert what is:

I love you

Settle that in your heart and let your mind roger that

Then let your spirit spring back to life

Even when you tire of me

Even when you doubt and forsake me

Even when you don’t think we’re worth more than a 5min pep talk before you hit the traffic every morning…

Even then…I still give you the strength you need

The strength you need for another day

Wonder why?

It’s all because I live you

That I love you means not I’m blind to your sin

…it means I’m ready to wash ‘em away

Make you white as snow, if you let me

That I love you means not I will bend the rules for you

For every principle you violate, you will still have to make amends

For every seed you sowed you’ll still reap a harvest

But this changes not what is true

Stand affirmed-even then-that I love you

That is why if you let me…if you ask

I will still be there to help you relearn…help you bear the consequences of your then

Help you start over…embrace your now

I love you

i LOVE you

i love YOU

Settle that in your heart today and watch the storm roll away

Watch the shadows dissipate in the light of my love

Stand affirmed now and forever

That one thing stands true

I LOVE YOU

© Ang’asa Malowa

1/5/12

Image

When Did I Stop Loving You???

When did I stop loving you?

Was it when I saw you walk away, farther from the light with each step

And still prayed for your return…still looked at the horizon

Hoping and praying I will see you in the distance

Coming back…coming home?

When did I stop loving you?

Maybe it was when your heart was broken

Broken because you lost the love you had

So broken you didn’t see that my hand was upon you even then

To ensure you stayed not in a season past…to make sure you stayed aligned to your purpose

Aligned to your call?

When did I stop loving you?

Perhaps when your friends were the thorns in your flesh

When you were all alone…left in the dark

And I stood with you when you couldn’t walk, carried you when your strength failed and sat with you when all you needed was rest?

When did I stop loving you?

Tell me when because I’m yet to see when my heart beat to a different rhythm

Than to love…my love for you

Tell me…

When did I stop loving you?

27/04/12

©Ang’asa Malowa

Just had one of those really bad days when the hurt, anger, bitterness and confusion were a tide so high it swept me away. I tried talking it out but the bile was too much to let go of. So I turned to the one person that’s always there this time not in thanksgiving or in joy but in a rage. See, I’d thought things were falling apart with only one logical reason: God was either having a blast taking me through this horror or He somehow just didn’t love m today. Today, He spoke so clearly and asked me more than I could write up. He reminded me of so much I’d let slip…reminded me that I need to knockout of my pain and think with my heart and my mind. He asked me when He stopped loving me…and I couldn’t answer because even in my rage I knew the truth. I knew He is love and that will never change. Now the seas are calmer and I’m taking a good look at my life and realizing that in many ways, it is true that someone stopped loving. And that someone was me. We ask Him when He stopped loving us when many times we’re the ones who should be answering that question.So as I rearrange my life and my priorities, as I work to find out when and why and how to fall back in love with Christ, I pray that He guides me. I can’t do this on my own. And I pray he guides you, like me, to realize He never stops loving us…but we do. And now we need to go back to when we loved Him like He loves us.

Be That Person…

The darkness gets so thick sometimes

So thick you can taste it…so thick you can touch it

The light’s long gone now

Not a flicker…not a spark

Just despair…and I’m too tired to care

Sound familiar?

Been there too many times already

Times when the only reason I stood…only reason I lived…only reason I moved

Was because someone else held my hand

Someone else fed my dream

Someone else pushed me through…brought in a flashlight to help me find my way

Held the umbrella that kept me dry when I had no strength to seek shelter from the rain

Naomi had Ruth…David had Jonathan

Even in the wilderness, there was a cloud by day and a fire by night

That kept His people in the face of the scorching sun

I stand today not because I can

I stand because when I can’t, like Moses my hands are being held up

By an Aaron and an Ur

I will not say that walking and living by His word is a walk in the park

Because so far, I have seen more fires and storms…more droughts and pain

Than I have had feasts and bounty

Many times I thought it best to quit even though I knew He that I serve is the same faithful God in lack and in plenty

Even though I had much to remember of His goodness, of His love, of His grace

My feet slackened and my heart wanted out

And so it would have…if it hadn’t been for that someone

That someone that pushed me beyond my limits

That one who stayed long enough to see that beyond the hurt and the pain

Beyond the despair and the anger

There was still a flame that burned for Him…

There was still a love that sought Him

There was still a fusion that could not be split

We all need that someone who will help us walk when we buckle under the weight

This life so often throws

That one person that will keep us believing in an incorruptible faith

That though as pure as gold….is not as gold

For even in the fiercest fire, it stands ever strong

You can be that person…

The one that carries my vision when my sight is lost

I need that person…

Be that person for me…for someone today

12/04/12

© Ang’asa Malowa

Ever thought what might have happened if Naomi didn’t have Ruth with her?  Ruth that saw beyond her pain, saw beyond their situation, saw beneath the rubble…saw what could be and stuck by it even when Naomi couldn’t? We all need someone that can be there to hold us up when we can’t stand on our own…you can be that person for someone today, don’t hold back : )there’s a life waiting for you to help it bloom as it should; could you be that person?

This one man…

This one man…on that cross

Came to unlock our lives that we may have it…

He made sure we had more

Way more than was sufficient

Because He loved us first

Loved us long before we loved Him

Driven up a hill…

Flogged and taunted by the very souls He sought to save

Blamed and cursed for the one whose lives He wished to set free

Unwavering love…unfailing love He showed

This one man…on that cross

Was the first…the last…the only

To pay love’s ultimate price

He gave His life today in history…

Gave it all for you and for me

That we may be free to prosper

…free to live

…free to love just like He did

This one man…on that cross

Came to unlock our lives

That we may have it…and have it more abundantly

As we celebrate His death…we celebrate His life

The life of this one man…on that cross

The life that saved us all

6/4/12

© Ang’asa Malowa

Happy Easter!!!

Chosen…Set Apart…Saved

Years and years of suffering under a crushing hand

Time that passed with so little in between

Because the rules were so hard they couldn’t allow any stretching

The foundations so hard they couldn’t survive any building

I’m coming to understand why the Jews found it hard to accept a messiah

That came as a sacrifice and not a warrior

Who came to bring together worlds pushed so far apart

World marred with pain…hatred…fear

I’m coming to understand why some still do

The Roman rule wasn’t easy on these people…neither had the Egyptian rule before them

It would seem that never did another nation stand for these people

So they waited and prayed…prayed and waited

For the promised King…the Messiah…the Savior

They hoped he would slay the Romans….and all that stood against them

Finally giving them the break they rightfully felt they deserved

And so they looked into the horizon and saw him coming

Only instead of heavy armor and sword…He bore a cross

In place of a crown…he wore a circle of thorns

How then would one expect them to act?

Than to reject the light at the end of the tunnel…because it wasn’t as bright as they’d thought it would shine

I make no excuses for these people…the very ones chosen by the very hand they rejected

Loved by the very heart they shunned

I only try to wear their shoes so I can feel what they do

So I can pray how he leads

For in many ways…many times

I have rejected the very hand that chooses me…sets me apart…saves me

Because I sought a warrior; not knowing that a sacrifice would suffice

We wonder why his people turn from him today…yet our hearts turn His grace away

I pray thee to pray for thee…for thine…for His

That the chosen may humble themselves and pray and turn back to Him

Understand that He is what we need…what we waited for

He is a sacrifice sufficient to fight a warrior’s battle

Pray that we turn back to Him that chooses us…sets us apart…saves us

22/02/12

©Ang’asa Malowa

No One For Me

There is no one for me but you.

There is no friend for me but you.

No partner for me but you.

No counselor for me but you.

No comforter for me but you.

No savior for me but you.

No joy for me but you.

No peace for me but you.

No truth for me but you.

No rest for me but you.

No love for me but you.

No father for me but you.

There is no one for me but you.

Thankful.

Thoughts from Fabs

www.fabsharford.com

© 2012 thoughts from fabs